One more step towards... Not sure?

Hi all, so I got another treatment today, thankfully I didn't have to wait any longer. I was starting to feel so low again, then bam, probably 2 to 3 hours after the treatment I felt a lift. I actually came up with three short film ideas, and I turned one of them into a completed script. Suicidal thoughts stopped hounding me and even my son commented on the 'less dismal' attitude. If I could only keep the lift longer, hmmm...

I wasn't supposed to go back until next Tuesday, but my pdocs office called and asked if I could come in this Thursday - I am not sure what is up with that. I didn't see him today, so maybe it's just to check in - hopefully nothing bad. I always get worried that because I am not progressing better and at a steadier pace that I am frustrating or pissing them off - stupid Bipolar Brain...

I honestly don't have much more than that to share tonight. I want to say the world is all rainbows and unicorns, but we all know that isn't true. J - sorry someone used that line the other day at the Easter Family Fun Night Celebration, so I figured I should get it in a post sooner than later. So fine life isn't a picnic, doesn't mean we can't all expect a little glimpse of said rainbow while riding said unicorn. Like I think I mentioned yesterday or the day before, I just want a break from my head. I know we all want breaks from our lives, but I am not even asking for that. I will keep my shitty life as is; I just need a break from my mind - from the chaos inside my head. That is why I love sleeping pills; it is the only time my mind actually turns off. I get a little less than 4 hours, with two sleeping pills (15mg of Zopiclone). 

Now if only I could do that during the day, just turn off my mind and chill. Enjoy a nice beverage on a patio, in quiet solitude - or with a hot girl, just saying...

Enough of my drivel... Peace out y'all!

Talk to y'all tomorrow...