Super Brief Update to my Last Update...

Things are not super awesome or rainbows and glitter, but after two rTMS treatments the depression is not so deep. The crying moments have stopped, a lot of the suicidal ideation has stopped (sadly not all but most). I'm still finding it hard with no motivation or drive, but in time a hope that too gets better. rTMS it really is a life saver. Sometimes I look at my pathetic life and wonder why I should want to have it saved, but for the moment lets just embrace the success of the rTMS - I wish everyone could....

Sorry for typos and spelling, my laptop is still in the shop, so again on my iPad.

Until next time Blogonians [blawg-awn-ee-uh n]s...

Dan

What the F&$k Bipolar You Bitc$?

So life update... Not exciting cause its my life. So anyway, someone me writes a blog post bitching about people driving slow and gets a speeding ticket practically the next day. Karma someone said to me...

Anyway, went to the pdoc and after some discussion we came to the realization that I have been in a hypo manic state for a monthish, maybe a little less maybe a tad more. I hadn't been honest to him, me, or anyone around me about the immense anger I have been feeling or the terrible shopping high I was getting; as dumb as it sounds people that is a Dan hypo manic state. It is a very rare occurrence, in fact my last one of any magnitude was probably 10 years ago. So rare and weird that it made pinpointing my diagnoses extremely difficult. The morning I went in to see my pdoc, Tuesday Jan 15, 2013 I was actually feeling super defeated, and feeling the dreaded blackness growing around me, by the time I got into see him I was crashing hard. I actually came to the realization the night before, following my ticket, that the anger and shopping were out of control. My son had been telling me for weeks I was getting way to angry and aggressive while I was driving, but I just blamed the other drivers and that felt like the truth to me. It wasn't me it was them. Same with the shopping, he kept telling me I better slow down, but I ignored him and didn't realize the high I was getting.

So here we are the pdoc stopped my Vyvance in hopes it was the instigator in my hypo state. Life without Vyvance is shit. I am back to not wanting to do anything, not wanting to get up, unable to focus and concentrate. All being super imposed by this deep, deep depression. I am extremely suicidal, extremely sad, and very tearful. I keep having horrible thoughts that lead to bouts of crying. I am very lost, again. It has been such an amazing run of feeling better, losing weight and getting things done - this dark place now feels foreign to me. I don't want to be here, I don't want to be anywhere...

I hope it's a short stay no matter which way it ends.

Sorry for typos and spelling, my laptop is in the shop, so trying to do it on my iPad.

Until next time Blogonians [blawg-awn-ee-uh n]s...

Dan

Here today, gone tomorrow... a.k.a. Alberta the Price of Oil is Down, so Everyone Panic, Make Cuts and Raise Taxes......OR

I am a little pissed at everyone participating in this sham we call Government (including the dumb-ass opposition; let's see what old dirt we can dig up on the present leader, cause that will help the province, the people - oh wait it won't! You're just wasting money on stupid reviews and commissions,  just suck it up you lost, and lost bad, move on let's get to work on the real issues: more money for Healthcare, and Education, free Post-Secondary for all Albertan's, or something fun like that...). More so because I wanted this post to be about drivers that either bought their driver’s license from their "neighbour" also from some other country (sorry I know that sounds racist, but I am sure white foreign people do it too – kidding, of course all foreigners do it), or they shed so many tears the guy has to give it to them (I know that sounds sexist, but I am sure guys cry too – kidding, I know they don’t). There cannot possibly be another reason all these idiots are on the road. (Tasteless jokes aside: I mean ALL idiots; there is no color, no language, no religion, and no origin of birth that delineates one idiot from the next). Just one thing I must share, before I go back to bitching about politics; if there are two lanes (meaning 4 or more lanes of traffic), one on the right and one on the left (this is like the ABCs of driving) the right lane is for those drivers going the posted speed limit or sadly slower, the left lane is for those needing to pass ONLY(or like me, going over the speed limit) – don’t stay in that lane if you want to drive 60km/hr in a 60km/hr zone, stay in the God forsaken right lane! People unable to go the speed limit, just get off the road, blow up your car and look to mushroom farming in somewhere unimportant like Eastern Canada or Edmonton (jokes, just jokes people – not the getting off the road part that is a given). Scared to go the speed limited, you shouldn't be on the road; of course this can be overlooked for new drivers – but to ALL you would be teachers, keep them in the right lane and teach them the REAL rules of the road… and don’t award them their license until they are really ready…

Wow, what the hell – Who was so upset he didn't get to talk about terrible drivers, and then couldn't stop…. that would be me! Driving makes me so angry now, ugh… and by driving, I mean other drivers!!!!

So, Alberta politics – f#&k! (I will speak mainly about the Provincial Government, but I also mean all levels, Municipal and Federal too).  The joys of a province whose, basically, sole income is based on petroleum revenues, great when the prices are up, for shit when the prices are down. Right now, they are down – so the panic button has been pressed! We need to cut, we need to increase taxes!!!!! Chickens with their heads cut off, and why? Because of a little debt. Do you know when government should panic about its debt? Never! Or when it reaches a trillion dollars, whichever comes first. Obviously you do not want to be in the same fiscal shape as the US is now, or many of the countries in Europe, but seriously a few to 10 billion is not something a Government should be sweating. Oh how can you say that Dan? I will tell you how (James stop reading now – yous be very angry with me if you continue J). Well first off, the only way for a Government not to be in debt is to increase revenue and/or decrease spending. Do we all agree on that basic principal? Well here is where many people may disagree with me (and that is OK, you are wrong but that is ok)…

Let’s first look at increasing revenue (sans worrying about spending). The Government has very limited options to generate income, all but one in the province of Alberta directly effects the citizens of the province. The one that doesn’t, (again for Alberta only – sorry I am not as familiar with other places, so not sure how other governments generate their total income), is the revenue from oil, gas, etc (royalties). Otherwise, we all contribute to the revenue of the province, be it Income Tax, Fuel Tax, Property Tax, Alcohol Tax, Fees for Services ie car registration, licenses, etc – not sure if you noticed, but most of those things included the word “tax”, because people that is how a government makes most of its income. Now knowing there are very limited ways for the government to earn/generate income takes us to spending.

So the people say NO MORE TAXES, the royalties decrease because of low commodity prices, what is next – cuts to spending. What do “cuts to spending” equate to? That is right, “cuts to services”. So what are the most expensive items on the list of expenses a government has? Yep, Healthcare and Education. Who cares I have lots of money, I would rather pay less taxes and pay for my child’s education. Bull SHIT! The tax system may not always be fair, but you have to admit there are many of you that use GIANT loopholes to insure you pay as little as possible, and there are some people that only pay taxes when they fill up their car or buy a bottle of vodka or a pack of cigarettes – however you look at it, we all pay taxes. I personally, like most people, hate taxes – but I like services. I like the fact we have an amazing educational system. I like the fact we have universal healthcare. If you don’t, and think you would rather pay less taxes and look after your own education and healthcare, then you my friend have too much money$$$... I guess a good question is, (I was only going to ask Albertan’s who narrowly survived the days of Ralph Klein’s cutbacks – but really people in the US of A have been suffering through tons of cuts over the years, especially education and healthcare – oh wait of course those two areas, cause governments always start cutting those areas first, as mentioned above), who likes cuts – not me… Oh wait, this is where people say, “but there are other places governments can make cuts, like government officials salaries, money to the poor (who are probably just lazy people scamming the system), or salaries for unionized workers, or benefits to government employees and officials” – seriously people, the only way to make a large enough dent in the expense column is via Education, Healthcare, and Roads and Infrastructure… Those other things that piss you off about government spending, don’t equate to shit when you look at the actual list of expenditures. Fine you can cut them, for no other reason except so you can feel better, but there will still need to be cuts to the aforementioned areas.

Well now armed with the knowledge that cuts SUCK ASS and income is limited, how are we all feeling about government debt? Oh right, I forgot about the group that think the government should be run like a business (again James hopefully you stopped reading when I told you to earlier). So to that group, who sadly have huge numbers supporting the idea (please note that the majority are business owners, and people that hate paying taxes – cause they already pay too much, etc, etc), government is government, it is not a business. A person I know said to me, “if I ran my business the way the government runs this province, I would be out of business”… that is true, which is why a government cannot be run like a business. Let’s use some, to me, very obvious items that governments have to spend money on that would not work for a business model. The first example, roads. The government makes NO money on roads, they spend zillions of dollars on and for roads, but there is no return on this expense/investment. There is no BUSINESS owner that would put money into an area that they are assured would not increase the bottom line, and in fact would eat up their potential net profits. That would be like you, Joe business owner, deciding to buy a plane for your business with no intention to use it, just pay for storing it and its upkeep. Does that make any business sense? Nope. How about hospitals? Again no income to government, but they offer loads of expenses. Schools? No income. The list can go on for miles and I, like you, am already bored with reading Dan’s blog… 

The moral to this little story – government is not a business, governmental debt is good and necessary, all cuts in services are bad, and taxes suck!

I also missed in my RANT, governments need to spend money for a city, province, state, or country to grow and generate money for the people. Austerity measures are illogical, inappropriate, and downright stupid. In government, you really do need to spend money to make money!!!

I want my city, my province, my country to be ran like a government, not a business! I want it to be for the people, by the people – not big business. Not ran by some rich ass in a suit that has lost his way/mind/ideals, and not by people that think fear mongering is part of politics/life… Oh, and not by any stupid people either! I know I should be running the damn government, but I am kind of busy this week, so maybe next.

Until next time Blogonians [blawg-awn-ee -uh n]s…

Dan