So I did nothing today - NOTHING... A beautiful spring day
and I sat in the house lost in the 'safe' world of television. If I was anymore
pathetic, well I have no idea how I could be anymore pathetic...
My mood - started off OK... Although when I woke for the
hundredth time, at 7:30AM, I decided to take another sleeping pill (prob not
the best idea) - I didn't get out of bed until 1:00PM. I was very groggy, but I
at least got some serious sleep. However, getting out of bed that late
encouraged some feelings of guilt that were followed by some feelings of
worthlessness. I figured maybe I could save the day and invite someone over to
watch a movie, but then I got pretty anxious about having no one to ask or the
other evil truth 'people would say no' or just as scary they would say yes...
I don't really have much to share, as I am sure you are all
getting bored of me singing the same song. 'Just waiting for that something'...
it should be sung to a country tune.
WHY CAN'T HE JUST GET OFF HIS ASS! I hear you scream. He,
meaning I, ask myself the same question every day. I, me, he has no answer. I
just feel stuck! Lost! The more I think about it the more stuck I become, like struggling
while in the grip of quicksand.
I know one thing for sure... that I need to get out of the
house more. I just don't know how. Every time someone invites me out I am too afraid
to go. Before writing this blog I didn't realize how bad my anxiety is. I have
so many fears of so many things, no wonder I shutdown. I want to be with people
and do things, yet I am afraid to be with people and scared to do anything.
Yippy go Dan!!!
Like I said in the beginning of this post I am PATHETIC!
Anyway, another beautiful Saturday gone, and another day
spent alone.
Talk to y'all tomorrow...
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