I started the day early, way too early. I was at my MRI at
8:00am, fine it's not super early - but WAY TOO early for me... It went well,
slightly painful lying on the hard flat table - but as far as tests go, pretty
easy.
I came home and hung out for a bit before heading off to my
rTMS treatment. It went well; they were training a new nurse on the machine - I,
as the professional patient, assisted... She is very nice and did fine. My pdoc
and I discussed the fact that I started feeling low on Friday and progressively
got worse over the weekend. He is thinking we will try one treatment next week
and reassess that perhaps I need two per week - I have no idea what that will
mean for my future. Sadly today, my low also includes suicidal thoughts, so I
don't see a future and am struggling with sticking around for anymore of this
'fun'.
I went back to bed when I got home from the treatment, had a
'broken' couple of hour's worth of nap. It was not a good nap, but it was much
needed thanks to the lack of sleep last night and the treatment. The rest of
the evening included playing a video game (Max Payne 3) still trying to finish
it - I suck...
I am not looking forward to bedtime, it always sucks so bad
when I am suicidal, too much time with my own thoughts. I spent most of the
evening lost in my PVR'd shows... ugh
Talk to y'all tomorrow...
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