A selfish day. It all started with an rTMS treatment, which
went fine, but then my pdoc wanted to see me after. So I waited for him to be
available. I was pretty worn out from yesterday, and I didn't get much sleep
last night, the treatment just made me that more exhausted. I sat there
wondering why the doc wanted to see me during a separate appointment, and
getting nervous. Finally he calls me in and BOOM lowers the hammer. He was kind
of; I don't want to use the word angry, so I will say frustrated. And went on a
rant about exercise, and how the treatments have done what they can that we
need to get the sleeping under control and to do that I need to exercise... He
wasn't mean, but me being me I felt and still feel like shit. I know he is
right, but the delivery after everything was a little painful. Next week will
be the last week for two treatments, and then we will go down to one per week.
He kept going on about how if I don't try this there is always the possibility
for the rTMS treatments to just burn out, like any treatment/drugs just stop
working altogether. I totally get it, I do. Now I just need to do it. I have
decided I will 'try', I guess I should omit the word try, go to the public pool
by my old house to workout. It isn't close to me, by any stretch of the
imagination, but they have a great gym and I have a pass for a reduced usage
fee. I was thinking of, God help me, starting a vlog - maybe not posting it
right away - but a visual observation of my hopeful transformation from fat to somewhat
fit. Something to think about, I will keep you posted on that one...
The rest of the day was a bit of a blur. I was upset by the
above meeting, but instead of heading to bed I went and got a haircut. I know I
should have gone to work out, but I need to... damn I really have no excuse,
except to put it off. No way in hell am I going to go workout on the weekends,
too many people. Weekends will be for walks - if nice out. For the rest of the
week I am hoping I can go maybe around 2pm - or another time in the afternoon
that finds the gym less busy. I should start tomorrow, but I am helping a
friend. Maybe tomorrow will be a walk in the park in the early evening -
provided it gets a little warmer... not going to look up the weather, better to
be surprised. J
Anyway...... I really am tired of being bummed and tired of
being tired - so I don't have much choice but to try the pdoc's plan. If it
succeeds I win, if I do it and nothing changes I win - cause I can say hey that
plan sucked. J
Kidding it's going to work. I'll look better, feel better, and have another
excuse to get out of the house. So day one of 'gym workout' will be Monday May
14, 2012 - mark it on your calendar people.
Talk to y'all tomorrow...
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