Relationships – hmmm…
so many forms; family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, your favorite
barista…
Family – Parents, kids,
siblings, significant others, extended family
Where to start? Perhaps
I should begin with a major influence in my life, a person who has saved my ass
more times than I can count. I am of course speaking about my mom. She has been
a great support, in numerous ways. She is always there when I need her, and
always checks in to make sure I’m ok. I sadly do not tell her or show her how
much I love and appreciate her, heck I probably don’t even thank her. I guess I
always just hope she knows…
My father… I have
always wanted a closer relationship with my dad, but ‘something’ always seemed
to get in the way. He has helped me on occasion. He was very supportive when I first
went back to University. He even drove all the way from Medicine Hat just to
help me install baseboards, but we don’t seem to have just us time. Now he has
a new, very young, family and lives in Medicine Hat so any hopes of any father
and son moments are probably not something that will be happening in this
lifetime…
My kids… Well if you
have kids then you know, there are many ups and downs, tears and smiles, good
times and bad; but then you also know you couldn’t imagine or want a life
without them. They are my anchor to this world, and without them I truly believe
I wouldn’t still be here. I love having my son with me fulltime now, and wish
my daughter lived closer. I do know one thing for sure. I love them both very
much.
Siblings, nieces,
nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles… Siblings I have many. Well ok three sisters
and one brother, but also a sister-in-law, and a brother-in-law. It seems the
older we get the less we see each other. I feel like age, time, and life gets in
the way of maintaining family relationships, but for me my BP makes that even
worse. As I mentioned in one of my other posts, I just don’t want to leave the
house, making it very difficult to take the steps to keeping close ties. It
would be awesome to go back to having that hub of my grandparent’s house, a common
gathering place, evenings of large dinners, playing cards and pool, having tea
and toast before going home. Family time, together…
That BP desire to
remain secluded also plays havoc on maintaining friends, making friends, and building
‘romantic’ relationships. What do I say to a person? Once I get over the
anxiety of meeting them, I have no life to talk about, no job, no hobbies,
nothing interesting to share, “oh and by the way I have Treatment Resistant
Bipolar Disorder II, want to go out sometime” (yeah, I’m thinking that wouldn’t
end well for me). Even people with Bipolar don’t really get it, people without
BP think you are just lazy, “shake it off”, “buck up”, “suck it up and get over
it”, “get a job”, etc, etc.
Here’s to FAMILY,
life would suck without them!!!!!!!!!!
How many more
sleepless sleeps? 3 that’s right!!! Well only to find out the schedule of
treatments, and then I am sure there will still be some sleepless sleeps to get
to the good part of the treatment. I’m thinking I need a sign off line……… any
ideas?
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