Sadly I have noticed a decline in my mood since around 5pm,
and so far after an hour (when I made this note – it was around 6pm) there is no
increase. I feel tearful and hopeless, and a bit suicidal. There were no
triggers (nothing has gotten worse or better) it just started happening.
Around 9pm the darkness lightened and at writing this at 9:49PM
I am kind of just exhausted (not sad or happy).
It’s so weird typing/writing/thinking the word HAPPY. It’s
like I am afraid to say it out loud. To acknowledge it is to forever lose it… I
really need to think about, and analyze this…? I need to be able to embrace
that word, to say it, hell scream it out loud!!!!!!
So I only heard from one of my ‘many’ readers with regards to
daily vs. weekly blog posts… and although she was pretty vague on her choice
(kidding)….. I am guessing the lack of response is a response in itself.
So I will be shifting to a weekly blog starting tomorrow.
I will be publishing my blog every Sunday…
I do feel a strange disappointment, but also a little relief
as keeping up a daily blog, when someone is as boring as me, is very difficult
- but I will miss the chance to share often, however, hopefully sharing is
sharing and all will be even better…
Talk to y’all tomorrow…
I have only one word ! BLAHHH
ReplyDeleteIll just harass you personally for daily updates lol and look forward to Sundays - you are brave, strong and pretty amazing go post the things you do! - I respect and want to read! ! !
I have also been following your blog and find your struggles to be very brave. I think you write very well and have a great sense of humour. My daughter is dealing with the same disorder as your nephew Lee so we have some of our medical moments and dealings with the medical establishment in Alberta and can relate to many of your dealings with doctors. keep it up. There are a lot of people rooting for you and your family.
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