Helllllooooo allllllll... WTF???

Had a shitty start to the day - I just couldn't drag my ass out of bed... I eventually did and moped around the house.

Again the park by my house
but it won't look like this for
another couple of months

I did have a pleasant afternoon - with a short walk with my mom in the park (by short I mean very short), and then we (my mom, me, and my son) had leftovers for supper. Now here I sit with a back that is progressively getting sorer. I must note my evil landlord did invite me out for supper and a movie, but there is no way my back would have allowed that (which sucks cause it would have been nice to hang out and watch a movie (oh and eat popcorn). J

Now here I am - my son is downstairs playing drums and I am back to my brooding. I just can't seem to get out of this funk - and I suppose it wouldn't be so bad except that with this funk is coming suicidal ideations...  

Is this it folks - has it all failed?

I feel too guilty about my pdoc giving me the treatments for free, to pressure him to increase the number of treatments to see if we can regain some ground - not to mention if the reality is I need numerous treatments constantly, I am sure his generosity would soon run out. Perhaps after my treatment on Friday there may be a change. I, at writing this, am very doubtful there will be a transformation.

As my son has noted I am doing nothing but whining - I feel ashamed for that, and I am very tired of doing so. I am not sure if I should therefore stop writing this blog, or just falsify my writings to reflect some positive drivel...

Talk to y'all tomorrow... - perhaps