Pretty good day… still in a good place from the Monday and
Tuesday treatments, and I go again tomorrow. Still nothing bad to report on the
new medication, except for the fact it tastes like shit, if shit tasted like
some gross chemical.
My Ex and I had a great meeting with my son’s psychologist.
Perhaps I didn’t learn everything I had hoped, but still good. My son may get
out this week, and if not early next week. Then the work really begins…
We went for supper tonight (his mom, me, and him), and he
decided to share his new found knowledge in ‘proper clinical communication’ (my
name for it not his) – he basically told us everything we are doing wrong when
his mom and I talk – he isn’t wrong, but his teaching techniques leave a lot to
be desired. He is quite loud when he
tells you how wrong you are, and if you interrupt him he tells you (again very
loud) to shut up and stop interrupting lol… Teenagers with brains – dangerous combination.
He is one smart kid, and I love him to pieces!
 |
| My car kind of looks like this now |
My car window is still not repaired – but at least the
technician taped it into place, so although it may look ghetto it is at least
finally CLOSED. No more spray in my face when a semi drives by on a wet road, no
more gravel shooting me when a car drives by, and no more frost bite on my ear
from the freezing wind howling into the car when I haul down the road… J
Just waiting for a part and an estimate, then we can hopefully schedule the
repair!!!!!
I am enjoying this elevated mood. I just wish I could find that drive/motivation
to do things… Everything I need to do looks like a HUGE mountain that I could
never accomplish the massive task so stay away from it. The more I think about
starting ‘it’, the more anxious I become. It is very frustrating, and doesn’t feel
very good. Examples of what I want to do; write my Zombie Movie, finish the baseboards,
clean the house, clean and organize the office/spare bedroom, clean and
organize the basement kitchen, (not in the immediate) redo the upstairs
bathroom… Those are just some of the things I would like to tackle, and I don’t
mean all at once or anything. I would just like to do ONE, even partially. But
the wall blocking me is as strong, as it is strange!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m pretty lonely too… but that wall is also preventing me
from going out and trying to be with people. I will get invited out for an
amazing dinner, cooked by an amazing chef, and I just shutdown when I think of
going out of the house and what all that will entail (don’t worry AJ – my
declines of late were not based on this, those just didn’t work out, but I still
go through the same thought process)…
FEAR – hmmm so many fears, and I never acknowledge or work
on them, as they are always overshadowed by the depression – perhaps now I can
really look at and resolve some of them, or perhaps with other things under
control some may resolve in conjunction with my other progress.
Well when someone figures out how to get my ASS out of the
house, or even in the house with people, and doing things inside and outside of
the house – LET ME KNOW!!!!!
Talk to y’all tomorrow…
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