Saturday, March 17, 2012

Through the blackness glows the evil red ember of pain...






Helped the evil landlord again today (by helped I mean barely did anything), but haven't quite recovered from his tortures of yesterday. J







Feeling a bit low today - even struck by the evil suicidal ideation, actually more than once. Even at writing this I feel the pangs of the evil desperation. Like always there is no reason for it to be happening, it's just how my malfunctioning brain works. I have been very fortunate that the new pills have been extending the benefits of my March 8 rTMS treatment. I am impatiently waiting for the next one on March 20 - both the treatment and the chance to talk with my pdoc. I am also looking forward to hearing what they garnered from their Harvard course. Also hopeful that I get the information from them to finish my letters - and in turn draft something that perhaps you the reader may want to send in to help get rTMS covered by Alberta Health Care. I hope.


The other thing I would love to do, as I have mentioned before, is set up a one stop Mood Disorder Clinic. With psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, therapy groups, pharmacists, specialised treatments, and occupational therapists, everything you need to get 'healthier'... We have various "clinics", (Mood and Anxiety Clinic (for children and adolescence only and only provides short term assistance), Bipolar Clinic (which I only learned of this year - and discovered it is ran by a pdoc I saw years ago that didn't know anything about bipolar and now runs a bipolar clinic hmmm)), in Calgary, but they are scattered and primarily ran by one pdoc. It is also not only a chore to access them, but to also just find them or their existence, and then you have to find and access other support services. So many people need these services, and don't know how to find them or have the means to access them. This needs to change!!!!





Oh well, enough ranting I think I would like to watch a movie or something????/????

Talk to y'all tomorrow...




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