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| Outside my house |
So much snow... this was not supposed to be one of the
topics of my post. I should be posting about budding leaves, or pretty Spring
flowers, not more damn snow. But here we are talking about more damn snow. J
There is a lot of it. It will hopefully all melt tomorrow. End of snow story...
J
Today was a long day - my son and I were up very late last
night talking, which is awesome in the sense that he feels comfortable talking
to me, I just wish we had started earlier. So this morning when I went to my
pdoc I was pretty groggy. Still all and all a productive appointment, he has
nicely decided I will be getting two treatments per week for the next four
weeks to see if we can get me back on track. He also increased my new
medication Saphris (aka Asenapine) to 15 mg. We have another 5 mg that we could
increase to if necessary. He is still very concerned with my terrible sleep, as
am I... but honestly I don't feel like we are ever going to figure it out.
Sleep studies, changing sleep hygiene, none of it seems to work. Even the
sleeping medications are not that effective. In Canada I have really only had
the chance to work with Zopiclone, but when I was in the States for the Ketamine
trial I was afforded the opportunity to try several different sleeping aids
with the same and sometimes worse outcome. With any of the sleeping medications
I get four hours (if I am lucky) of straight sleep, and then a few hours of
very broken sleep (10 minutes here, 10 minutes there). And sadly with Zopiclone
the longer I take it the less effective it becomes, until I have to increase
the dosage to an unhealthy level. I have reached the max dose at 15mg that is
one of the reasons for increasing the Asenapine.
I still haven't typed out my two new scripts yet. I was so distraught
last night, after thinking they were way too short, and then that went to
thinking they were terrible, and then that went to I am terrible and blah that
went to the ever evil dark place of I shouldn't be alive. So I think for
tonight I will just ignore the scripts and type them out tomorrow, when the sun
is shining and the snow has melted. Hopefully a beautiful day will bring
beautiful thoughts. Why do I have to be so dramatic - such an artist - with no artistic
skills J I
have the poor part of being a screenwriter down, now I just need the talent. J
Oh I'm on a soul crushing roll....
Perhaps before any other negative crap can spill onto the
page I will call it a night.
Like I always say... Ya I have nothing I always say. Boom
enough Dan genius for one night!
Talk to y'all tomorrow...
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